OUT OF CONTEXT
Only at The Washington Times: Carleton Bryant humor targets politics, entertainment and latest breaking news.
Latest Blog Entries
Swiss likely to OK prescription heroin
Switzerland is expected to enact heroin-prescription legislation. It's called the Smack Act.
Court allows Sarkozy voodoo dolls
An appeals court in France has dismissed President Nicolas Sarkozy's bid to ban the sale of voodoo dolls that look like him. Someone should tell him that voodoo only works if you believe in it — or if the voodoo practitioner is very very good.
Boar crashes church breakfast
A wild boar crashed through a window at a church in Frankfurt, Germany, and disrupted a breakfast there. Such rudeness! Such a lack of manners! That boar acted like a boor.
Reindeer poop makes great gifts
An Illinois zoo has a new marketing angle for the holidays — Christmas ornaments made from reindeer droppings. Kids love them because it's like having a little piece of Rudolph in your hands.
Studies: Lefties earn more than righies
Studies in Britain and Ireland reveal that left-handed men earn more than right-handed men. Barack Obama can testify to that.
Batman's dad kills Dark Knight
In a new comic book, Batman dies at the hands of man who claims to be Bruce Wayne's father. What a way to go!
Medvedev, Castro meet in Cuba
Russian President Dmitry Medvedev got chummy with Cuban President Raul Castro in Havana. After all, they have so much in common — America.
Polar bear twins born in German zoo
Twin polar bear cubs are the stars of zoo in Nuremberg. So cute. So cuddly. And a year from they'll want to rip your head off.
Cleveland loves 'A Christmas Story'
Movie fans are celebrating "A Christmas Story" in Cleveland. Guess there's not much else to do in Cleveland.
Millionaires' club hits the skis, er, skids
A ski club for millionaires has slipped into bankruptcy because of the economic downturn. Perhaps "slipped" is too mild a verb. More like "fallen" — on a double Black Diamond slope.
Vatican: Cell phones can hurt soul
The Vatican warns that cell phones can disturb the silence the soul needs. What if we just put them all on vibrate?
Stevens might seek pardon
Sen. Ted Stevens, Alaska Republican and convicted felon, says he might seek a pardon from President Bush. Really? Only "might?"
Drudge's 'siren' harried Wolfson's sleep
Clinton campaign spokesman Howard Wolfson tells Time that he had nightmares about the Drudge Report's "siren." Wasn't there a siren in "Saw IV?"
Axl Rose hits Dr. Pepper on pop deal
Rock screamer Axl Rose is accusing Dr. Pepper of backing out of a deal to distribute free soda to buyers of "Chinese Democracy." Axl, distributing stuff free isn't "democracy." It's communism.
Kicker seeks pardon for brother
Lawrence Tynes, a place kicker for the New York Giants, wants a presidential pardon for his pot-selling brother. Maybe in exchange for a missed field goal in the next game with Dallas?
