OUT OF CONTEXT
Only at The Washington Times: Carleton Bryant humor targets politics, entertainment and latest breaking news.
Latest Blog Entries
GM CEO drives to D.C.
The head of the biggest of the Big Three automakers took the scenic route to Washington to ask Congress for bailout money. Driving a car from Detroit to D.C. is a LOT more humbling than flying a private jet, ain't it?
Russian warship to sail through Panama Canal
A Russian warship is scheduled to sail through the Panama Canal this week. Take that, Chavez! Oh, you invited them? Never mind.
Oprah to broadcast from D.C. for inauguration
Media mogul Oprah Winfrey is bringing her show to Washington to celebrate Barack Obama's inauguration. She's so awesome. I hope she gives away cars when she's here. I hope I'm in the audience.
Scientists find ancient stash of pot
About 2,700 years ago a shaman was buried with 2 pounds of marijuana in the Gobi Desert, scientists say. What a way to go, man. What a way to go.
Montag's mom gives Heidi's marriage 6 months
The mother of "The Hills" star Heidi Montag gives her daughter's "marriage" to co-star Spencer Pratt about six months. Gee, thanks, Mom. It's not like it's a "real" marriage anyway.
Palin smiles at Biden quip
Sarah Palin says Joe Biden is a witty guy. That's the truth. Just ask him about Rudy Giuliani.
Chambliss credits Palin with victory
Sen. Saxby Chambliss says Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin's campaigning for him made the difference in his successful re-election bid. It's all about name recognition, Saxby. You gotta find a name people will remember.
Cher to record album of '60s hits
Cher is planning to record a new album of old songs. Hey, didn't she retire? Twice?
Gary Coleman guilty of disorderly conduct
Gary Coleman, who played Arnold Jackson in "Diff'rent Strokes" in the '70s and '80s, pleaded guilty to disorderly conduct involving a parking lot fracas with a fan. What you talkin' 'bout, Willis?
Obama picks Richardson for Commerce
President-elect Barack Obama has chosen Bill Richardson to be commerce secretary. I hear there's a lot of money in that job, but I could be mistaken.
NFL suspends 6 players over anti-doping policy
The NFL, in a get-tough move, suspended six players for using a diuretic, which can mask the use of steroids. Gosh, I wonder how they'd have been punished if the NFL found they had used steroids.
Daily News 'steals' Empire State Building
The New York Daily News says it took only 90 minutes to "steal" the Empire State Building. Yeah, but now how are they going to sell it? There aren't many fences out there who will take on a stolen landmark.
Moms ditch lullabies for pop ballads
Modern moms prefer today's hit songs to yesterday's classic lullabies to put their babes to bed. A few years from Guns N' Roses' "Sweet Child O' Mine" will be the lullaby of a generation. Watch those high notes!
Journalists are celebrities, too
Newsmen are a major part of America's celebrity culture, in which you can be famous for being famous. Now THAT'S news.
Franken gains slightly on Coleman in Minn. Senate race
Satirist Al Franken slightly cut Sen. Norm Coleman's lead in the recount of millions of ballots in Minnesota. Right about now those Minnesotans are wishing they had an abacus.
