OUT OF CONTEXT
Only at The Washington Times: Carleton Bryant humor targets politics, entertainment and latest breaking news.
Latest Blog Entries
NYC transit writes tardy notes for workers
The New York City transit system has implemented a program in which it issues tardiness notes to workers it delays. It issues a lot of notes.
Students steal, cheat but say they're good
A recent large-scale poll of U.S. high school students found that they admitted to lying, cheating and stealing in surprisingly large numbers. Well, at least they're honest about it.
Britney's back on top
With the imminent release of her new album, pop singer Britney Spears is about to make the biggest comeback since O.J.'s after his murder trial. Maybe even bigger.
Iraq wants $80-a-barrel oil
Iraqi Oil Minister Hussein al-Shahristani says $80 a barrel is a fair price for oil. It sounds odd, but if Iraqis want to pay us $80 a barrel for oil, I say let them. Oh, that's what they want US to pay? Never mind.
DNA test picks kids' sports
A DNA research company is offering parents a test that can find out which sport their children are born to play. Of course, the children first would have to show an interest in the sport, and the test for that is extra.
Arkansas quakes could signal bigger tremor
A series of small temblors in central Arkansas over the past few weeks could be indicating a bigger one. Earthquakes in Arkansas? Is this because Hillary lost the election?
Tween girl gets pirates to talk
A BBC reporter at the end of her rope allows her daughter to phone the Somali pirates, who tell the girl their side of the story. I see a Lifetime movie in the making.
Study: In-laws harder on wives
A new study at Cambridge University shows that women attribute about 60% of their misery to their mothers-in-law. So buck up, guys. You're not as bad as you thought you were. It's your mom.
Town bans lights for Milky Way view
The town of Mount Desert Island, Maine, has banned outdoor lights to attract tourists to its view of the Milky Way. Usually when people want to gaze at stars, they go to Hollywood.
Couple waits for wedding day for first kiss
A couple in the Chicago area are walking their talk by abstaining from kissing — and any other physical intimacies — until their wedding day. It's worth the wait, they say, but how would they know?
FDA sets melamine levels for baby formula
The FDA, which was unable to set safety levels for melamine two months, now has set safety levels for the industrial chemical, which also is used to make plastic. Who says the federal government can never get its act together? (Emphasis on the word "act.")
White House deluged with pardon requests
A slew of convicts is beseeching President Bush for pardons. Be careful, Mr. President. If one of these convicts sneezes in your presence and says, "Pardon me," be careful how you answer.
Japanese told to go home early and make babies
To improve Japan's low birth rate, workers are being told to leave work early, have more sex and make more babies. Talk about a comprehensive benefits package.
Jock-only tutoring centers chafe non-athletes
Athlete-only tutoring centers on college campuses are beginning to irritate non-jocks. Maybe college officials should listen. Or at least watch "Revenge of the Nerds."
Whitney says she's not back with Bobby Brown
Whitney Houston says that she has not reunited with ex-husband Bobby Brown. Isn't this the start of grand reunion?
