Charles Hurt
Columns by Charles Hurt
CHARLES HURT: The Clinton family soap opera continues
Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the longest-running Southern Gothic soap opera in American history! It is a mix of "Days of Our Lives," "Dr. Phil," "The Sopranos," "Oprah" and "Judge Judy" all rolled into one, long, endless saga called "The Clintons -- a Tale of Naked Ambition, Unquenchable Libido, Towering Greed and Their Desperation to be a Part of Every American's Life as Long as We Live." Published May 19, 2015
CHARLES HURT: Alex Rodriguez milestones ignored by Yankees is grosser than gross
Thinking of New York Yankees slugger Alex Rodriguez and his historic milestone of passing Willie Mays' lifetime home run record last week, I was reminded of the jokes kids used to tell one another when they wanted to impress their playground friends with the epic grossness of their imaginations. Published May 12, 2015
CHARLES HURT: Baltimore Freddie Gray riots result of extreme liberal policies
All the mayhem unfolding in Baltimore is nothing short of an unspeakable American tragedy. Laid bare are the failures of cradle-to-grave social policies held so dear by politicians in both parties, but embraced and celebrated most lustily by Democrats. Published May 5, 2015
CHARLES HURT: Baltimore riots evoke spirit of ‘Star-Spangled Banner’
With such steady, just and hopeful leadership from President Obama and his recently departed attorney general, Eric H. Holder Jr., is it any wonder that peace, love, patriotism and tranquility reign across the land with such fervor? Published April 28, 2015
CHARLES HURT: Marco Rubio habla Americano better than other Republicans
Sen. Marco Rubio might be a Spanish-speaking Cuban from Miami, but he is currently winning the Republican Party's "American" presidential primary as the only guy speaking common English right now. Published April 21, 2015
CHARLES HURT: Hillary Clinton descends from luxury for coronation as candidate of the people
Madam Candidate of the People was in her magical mystery conversion van, flying over the cornfields of Iowa this week taking enemy fire. This required evasive maneuvers that launched her coterie of handmaidens, purse-holders and security guards all around the plush leather cabin of the magical, age-reversing van. Published April 14, 2015
CHARLES HURT: Beauty Queen Barack Obama and the Tehran Mullahs: Partners in peace
Just like every other ditzy beauty queen in the history of beauty pageants, President Obama steps across the world stage clutching the giant bouquet of flowers handed him by the Nobel Committee and pivots back and forth, waving mechanically. Published April 7, 2015
CHARLES HURT: Andreas Lubitz, adrift in the sea of self absorption
What do Christina Freundlich, Lena Dunham and Andreas Lubitz all have in common? Published March 31, 2015
CHARLES HURT: Obama, John Kerry Iran strategy betrays American people, Congress
President Obama and Secretary of State John Kerry are so many fathoms out of their depth that the best they can do for civilization is to toss control of the entire Middle East into the hands of the Iranians. That really and truly is their strategy. Published March 24, 2015
CHARLES HURT: Capitol secured against taxpayers for lawmakers to act like spring break
It's that time of year when college kids in flip-flops hit the sandy beaches of cheesy Mexican resorts and party till the break of dawn, shimmying and jiggling and drinking florescent tequila shots from unknown belly buttons. Here in your nation's capital, it is really no different. Published March 17, 2015
CHARLES HURT: Hillary Clinton press conference a political performance preview
Hillary Clinton's press performance Tuesday afternoon was, truly, everything Americans could have hoped for from our former First Lady, Modern Joan of Arc, Lady Macbeth, Senate carpetbagger and eternal public Woman Scorned. Published March 10, 2015
CHARLES HURT: Benjamin Netanyahu believes in American Exceptionalism, too bad Obama doesn’t
Appearing before Congress, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu laid bare terrifying truths about the statements, actions and intentions of the "Islamic Republic" of Iran — as diligently studied from less than 1,000 miles from Tehran, as the missile flies. Published March 3, 2015
CHARLES HURT: Mitch McConnell lets Senate bow to Obama on illegal immigration
To the rescue comes Senator Yoda, wearing his hooded cloak and wielding his magic wand. He checked his sorcery guide and stirred his bubbling pot. He produced a magical strategy for dealing with these forces of evil. Surrender. Published February 24, 2015
CHARLES HURT: Evolution and allegiance to the Church of Global Warming
It is such a high, blessed relief to finally get to the bottom of the most pressing issue here in this age of $17 trillion U.S. debt, barbaric animals burning humans alive in cages, the systematic rounding up, rape and mutilation of young girls around the world and all these inconvenient blizzards and bone-chilling winds blowing giant holes in our faith in the newly founded Church of Global Warming. Published February 17, 2015
CHARLES HURT: IRS allows illegal aliens to apply for tax credits, returns
Are you sick and tired of the IRS? Do you owe back taxes? Do you want to be finished with all of the threatening phone calls? The fear, the terrorizing and intimidation? Well we have the answer for you! Published February 10, 2015
CHARLES HURT: Scott Walker leads Republican field of 13 presidential candidates
With a generous baker's dozen preening and jockeying for early attention, this Republican presidential nomination fight appears to be turning into another none-of-the-above contest. Published February 3, 2015
CHARLES HURT: Arlington House book tells story of American loss
Perched on high bluffs above the Virginia banks of the Potomac River and overlooking the sprawling federal city of Washington, Arlington House for more than 150 years has been a tortured and conflicted spot. Published January 27, 2015
CHARLES HURT: Obama dismisses electorate and disses Congress
Well, you cannot say he didn't warn us. Published January 20, 2015
CHARLES HURT: Mario Cuomo was not a total liar, and that’s saying something
In all the stirring eulogies and remembrances leading up to the funeral of former New York Governor Mario Cuomo last week, his greatest contribution to American politics went entirely unheralded. All the fawning tributes and tearful, pearl-clutching accolades have failed to include the one single thing about Mario Cuomo that will forever set him far apart from all the rest of the politicians of his ilk. Published January 13, 2015
CHARLES HURT: John Boehner elected Republican speaker with Daniel Webster in the House
Here in the winter of our conservative doldrums as the party of jackasses has once again been trounced by the screaming weenies of squishy establishment Republicans, a spark of hope. Amid the ruins lies the Gadsden flag, smoldering, tread upon. Published January 6, 2015
