Carleton Bryant

Carleton Bryant is a senior editor at The Washington Times, where he oversees the National and Metropolitan desks. He also serves as the newsroom's internship coordinator. He has served as an assistant managing editor; a National, Metropolitan and Features desk editor; an assistant National desk editor; and a reporter on the National and Metro desks.

Articles by Carleton Bryant

OUT OF CONTEXT: Shhh! Let’s just keep this one between you and me

Researchers have discovered a gene that, when turned off, allows mice to eat all the carbs they want without getting fat. If we allow mice to gorge themselves, what will pigs do? Published March 29, 2009

OUT OF CONTEXT: I forgot what I meant to say, so this will have to do

I've mentioned how my son is in training to become a locust by eating every scrap of food in my house and leaving the empty containers where he found them. Published March 22, 2009

OUT OF CONTEXT: If you’re reading this, you might be in need of professional help

I've tried reading "War and Peace" on three separate occasions. It's way over 1,000 pages — and that's just the Cliff Notes. Published March 15, 2009

OUT OF CONTEXT: More proof that comedy isn’t pretty

If there's one good thing emerging from this economic downturn, it's that we're finding out who's been scamming our cash for all these years. Published March 8, 2009

OUT OF CONTEXT: Give me liberty or give me a good rate for refinancing

Whenever the economy falters, education usually takes the first hit. Guess we all have still got some learning to do. I know I do. Published March 1, 2009

OUT OF CONTEXT: Warning: The following material is simulated. Don’t try this at home.

Having your moral failings pointed out by Rod Blagojevich is like having your fistfight refereed by Mike Tyson. Published February 22, 2009

OUT OF CONTEXT: It’s time someone told the truth about getting older

Last weekend I reached a magical age — the one that lets you say you're turning fortysomething for the last time; the one that Romans enumerated as "IL" or "XXXXIX" or "XLIX," depending on who was chiseling the stone; the one where you get your AARP application promptly in the mail. Published February 15, 2009

OUT OF CONTEXT: You’re back? You must be a glutton for punishment

Once every generation, a politician emerges who captures the imagination of the masses...In our time of economic distress and uncertainty, such a politician has come to the fore. His name is Rod Blagojevich. Published February 8, 2009

OUT OF CONTEXT: I don’t have enough bubble gum for both of us

January is over? Already?! I'm still eating Thanksgiving turkey! It isn't good, but I'm still eating it. Published February 1, 2009

OUT OF CONTEXT: Welcome to the back pages! We don’t get many visitors.

Swedish scientists have found that breeding modern dogs for their appearance has resulted in a decline in intelligence. Maybe it's not the dog breeds that are trending downward in intelligence. Maybe it's their owners. Published January 25, 2009

OUT OF CONTEXT: Every time you laugh, an angel gets its wings

At least a commerce secretary is housebroken. Usually. Published January 18, 2009

OUT OF CONTEXT: Nothing to see here. Move along, move along.

I was talking to a friend about the conceit of our technological supremacy over that of past generations - you know, the belief that if a modern man went back in time, he could take control of society because of his technological superiority. Published January 11, 2009