OPINION:
Feb. 4-17 is National Marriage Week. It may sound prosaic, but it couldn’t be more important.
As marriage goes, so goes the nation.
Without marriage, we become a nation of increasingly isolated, self-absorbed individuals, which is why the decline of marriage is so ominous.
In 1970, married couples were 71% of U.S. households. By 2022, they were 47%. In 1962, 90% of 30-year-olds were married. By 2019, that figure had fallen to 51%.
One in four 40-year-olds has never been married. According to the Pew Research Center, 40% of unmarried adults think marriage is obsolete.
In a recent survey, only 30% of millennials said having a successful marriage was one of the most important things in life. The rest prioritize saving the smelt and choosing the right pet food.
Even a casual look at data makes the case for marriage. Married couples are happier and healthier, live longer and are more successful. They’re also more likely to be involved in the community.
Children raised in households with both of their biological parents do better on every index. They’re more likely to do well in school and avoid drugs, alcohol and crime.
Prisons, mental hospitals and homeless shelters are testaments to the consequences of a failure to form families.
The most dangerous force in society is unattached males in their teens and 20s. A 2016 report by the Bureau of Justice Statistics found 59% of inmates in state prisons had never been married.
Raquel Welch, a 1970s sex symbol, decried the flight from marriage. In a 2010 commentary, Welch confessed: “I’m ashamed to admit that I myself have been married four times, and yet I feel that marriage is the cornerstone of civilization, an essential institution that stabilizes society, provides a sanctuary for children and saves us from anarchy.”
As the marriage rate has fallen, so has the birth rate.
Among those in their prime childbearing years (ages 18 to 35), 65% were married in 1960 versus 51% today. As a result, the fertility rate — the number of children the average woman will have in her lifetime — has plummeted from 3.55 in 1960 to 1.78 today, well below the replacement level of 2.1.
Some of the most powerful forces in our society have united to create an anti-marriage culture. Once, marriage was a marker of adulthood. You grew up, got married and had children. No longer.
Today, two-thirds of young adults say they feel no pressure from their families to marry. Most parents no longer object to conduct that would have produced a shotgun in generations past.
The entertainment media provide a relentlessly negative view of marriage. Stories about the limitations of marriage and joys of singleness are everywhere. It’s as if infidelity, exploitation and abuse were the norms of married life.
Rarely do we get stories of lonely singles in their middle years regretting their earlier choices. “All the lonely people, where do they all come from?”
Children are portrayed as a nuisance and a financial burden rather than a natural part of living.
Reliable contraception and the availability of opportunities to “hook up” have lessened the incentive to marry. Politicians who will spend billions on green energy and a transgender opera in Colombia see no benefit in promoting marriage.
On the left, there’s a fear of slighting marriage alternatives, such as cohabitation. On the right, there’s the libertarian notion of laissez-faire.
The Democratic Party’s most reliable constituency is single women. In 2024, Vice President Kamala Harris carried the vote of unmarried women by more than 20 percentage points.
“You don’t need a husband,” Democrats seem to say to young women. “A man will interfere with your career and tie you down. Think of us as your daddy. You want abortion on demand? We’ll see that you get it.”
Do politicians ever consider the effect on the tax base with marriage and fertility falling fast? Older workers aren’t being replaced at a fast enough pace to shoulder the burden of government.
Once, marriage was less about romantic love than social responsibility and finding a life partner. People married for stability, security and companionship. The passion of youth matured into the love that lasts a lifetime.
We need to rediscover the type of marriage that produces the sense of wonder and joy that comes from being connected to the past and future — of being part of the fabric of society woven over generations.
• Don Feder is a columnist with The Washington Times.
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