OPINION:
Last week, a viral tweet from a leftist activist on Twitter declared that Cracker Barrel, a favorite Southern roadside eatery had a history steeped in racism. According to the post, which received more than 21,000 retweets and 41,000 likes, stated the following: “Cracker was a slang term for whip. That’s why blacks called whites crackers, from the crack of the whip. A cracker barrel is a barrel that held the whips for sale at the country store. You see the whip going from the R to the K [in the logo]? Racism in your face!!”
At least 41,000 people believed this post — maybe more — when in reality, the term “Cracker Barrel” was first used in 1916, and was the name for barrels full of soda crackers that were sold in country stores. The disinformation shared by the initial tweet predictably wasn’t given a notation by Twitter or Facebook “fact checkers” who regularly “fact check” tweets from conservatives for their opinions.
One of my own opinion tweets has been flagged on all social media platforms as “misleading” because I stated that had the late Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg retired at 80, then-President Obama could have replaced her with an “ultra progressive.” The “fact checkers” stated that he could have replaced her with a conservative as well, so my opinion was misleading.
Fact checking insanity aside, it’s time that you batten down the hatches for a slew of non-racist things being given their own fraudulent racist history and cancelled over the next few years. I wanted to provide a handy guide as to what you can expect from the left now that the train has begun to go off the rails with Cracker Barrel. You may laugh at this satire now, but all of this could legitimately happen — and some of it currently is.
The first thing you should get ready to cancel as a deranged leftist is ordering coffee “black.” Clearly, if someone orders black coffee, that means that they are energized by the suppression of African-Americans –- only a racist would order coffee black.
Next you should cancel the ability for white pieces to go first in chess. With the popularity of the Netflix series “The Queen’s Gambit,” more and more people are playing this ancient game — and more and more liberals who seek to be offended will find that white pieces just go first. This, to them, will be extrapolated as the suppression of people of color and must come to an immediate end. Either the black pieces will go first from now on, or everyone must play with confusing rainbow pieces — no compromise. The liberals are actually already doing this.
We must eliminate the name of the outer space phenomena known as the “black hole.” To claim that this empty vacuous point in space is somehow “black,” clearly shows that White people believe African-Americans are empty, hold no value and are just a drain to their environment. Liberals are already looking into this.
On Aug. 5, 2020, NASA, which clearly has too much time on its hands now that Elon Musk has taken over a majority of America’s space exploration, released a statement claiming that it is “reexamining nicknames for cosmic objects” and stating, “[space] terms may have historical or culture connotations that are objectionable or unwelcoming, and NASA is strongly committed to addressing them.”
“White Christmas,” is obviously racist. It couldn’t possibly refer to snowfall on Dec. 25 — it can only refer to eliminating all persons of color from the holiday. Leftists have been pushing this for years now. You can easily find multiple articles online from newspapers, especially in the Northeast, claiming that outside of the term — the song is “white supremacist music.” Clearly, it must be eliminated.
Finally, the most glaring example of a name that needs to be canceled is “White House,” which might be tough to do when President Joe “don’t want my kids to go to school in a racial jungle” Biden is in office, but if his running mate takes over the Oval Office, maybe she could change the name to something far less triggering.
If you’re trying to figure out what the left is going to declare racist next, there’s a simple test you can do in your spare time. First, think of a person, place or thing — then if it exists, leftists will probably find a way to declare it racist.
All of this goes to say that the left doesn’t want to live in a peaceful, equal world. They want to live in a world where they take personal offense by every possible thing — even if it means them creating a fake offensive story about it — l and everyone else has to bend a knee to their illogical and insane demands. We’ve flown off the rails, and it doesn’t seem like it’s going to get better any time soon.
A cracker barrel was just a barrel of crackers — and the restaurant is pretty decent, wholesome place if you’re a sane person.
• Tim Young is a political comedian and author of “I Hate Democrats/I Hate Republicans” (Post Hill Press).
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