HOPKINSVILLE, Ky. (AP) - After being bullied in the seventh grade, KaLiyah Owen-Wilson needed help to deal with her problems and to make changes in her life.
Last summer she enrolled in the Lipstick After Dark LLC girls mentoring program founded by Tangela Babb, a Hopkinsville native and licensed social worker.
“I wanted to have someone to talk to,” said Owen-Wilson, 14. “Some things I don’t like to talk to my mom about. I love talking to Ms. Tangela. She always gives me good advice on everything. She listens.”
Lipstick After Dark “empowers girls and young women with the confidence to understand self-worth while dealing with the thoughts, feelings and emotions that tend to arise when there is a lack of supervision.”
Owen-Wilson was one of 10 Christian County girls who completed their first year in the inaugural program. A pinning ceremony was hosted Saturday (Aug. 22) at the Aaron McNeil Center to recognize their achievement.
“Tonight was a pinning ceremony to give them some recognition,” Babb said. “They all have completed a year. They were dedicated to the sessions. All of them are very active and communicate. I want them to be able to have something to look forward to.”
Babb said the year included sessions to help the participants gain self-confidence and grow as individuals.
“This year we focused on bullying, sexual identity, a lot of mental health issues,” she said. “They do complain about middle and high school being very hard especially with social media and now this pandemic. There has been a lot of conversation about how to function as a student now, as well as in their family life. Those issues coincide with how students are acting out and behaving.”
During the pinning ceremony, nine girls in attendance kneeled on a pillow in front of their peers, family members and community leaders to read a pledge aloud for themselves and the audience.
“I am a Black girl.
I am Beautiful.
I am Confident.
I am a Leader; not a follower.
I have a Voice and will not use it to gossip or disrespect other people.
I am a Black girl.
I Strive for excellence in everything I do.
I Value myself and move with class and dignity.
I Encourage and Empower others around me.
I am Love.”
Owen-Wilson said the pledge was empowering to her.
“What I read, it meant a lot to me,” she said. “To me, it’s saying to myself that I need to think these things so I can act on them.”
Jakaila Lewis, 13, also joined the program because she was being bullied in school. Her experience in Lipstick After Dark has helped her to grow up.
“I’m not to myself all of the time anymore. I’m actually getting along with people,” she said.
Lewis’ mother LaTasha Moore said her daughter has changed in the past year.
“It’s really hard, especially when she shuts down,” Moore said of Jakaila. “She’s a lot more outspoken now. She’s come out of her bubble a bit. She’s actually wanting to be around people more. I think it’s been really good for her.”
Owen-Wilson said she also benefited from being around other girls who have had similar experiences.
“Growing up and being black and going to the schools that I went to, I was the only black girl,” she said. “Being in a group full of us, it was a reliever.”
Owen-Wilson’s mother, Julia Owen, said growing up in Crofton and attending a small elementary school and then Christian County Middle School was difficult for her daughter.
“It made me feel like I couldn’t help her,” Owen said. “I literally thought bullying wasn’t real until she said so. When this program came along, I thought this was something I wanted her to get into to help her with all of the issues she was experiencing in school.”
Owen said she has seen a change in her daughter - for the better.
“I feel like she is more open to talk about things that are going on in school,” Owen said. “She talks to me more about stuff that she sees that has happened.”
Owen-Wilson said the mentoring program has helped her as she prepares to start her freshman year at Christian County High School.
“I’m going to handle things more differently,” she said. “I’m the type of person, if people say stuff I’ll keep going back and forth with them. Now, (I’ll) turn the other cheek (and) just walk away from it. Don’t try to act on it.”
Owen said she hopes her daughter will use what she has learned to mentor others.
“I hope that she continues on with the program, even if it’s just coming here and talking to younger girls who may be experiencing the same things,” Owen said. “I hope that she sticks with it. I hope she tries to help other people and tell her story.”
In addition to Owen-Wilson and Lewis, completing the program were Lanijah Love, Mikenzea Watkins, Aniyah Lewis, Hannah Brown, Akirsha Cain, Liyana Davis, Myracle Ford and Aaliyah Bacon.
Babb said open enrollment for Lipstick After Dark is in August and January. For more information, visit the group’s Instagram and Facebook pages or the website http://lipstick
afterdarkgirlsmentoring.org. Girls may apply online to enroll.
“The program is here. It’s for every girl,” Babb said. “Every girl goes through the same thing. We all are struggling. We all are having a hard time. We just want it to be a safe space for girls of any race, any color to have a safe place to communicate.”
Babb said she is always open to accept community help with mentoring.
“I love people who can come speak to them,” she said. “I love people who can share their stories. Or, anyone who is willing to have a conversation with any young girl who is struggling with anxiety or sexual identity or bullying.”
Although the pinning ceremony is over for first-year participants, Babb’s goal is for each girl to return for year two.
“We will always welcome them back at any time,” she said. “We want them to be able to have a place to go.”
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