OPINION:
ANALYSIS/OPINION:
“Death and loss are the kind of issues that defy sound bites,” psychologist Renee Garfinkel told me Tuesday afternoon, less than 24 hours after singer Ariana Grande, 23, learned of the Manchester suicide bombing and referred to herself as “broken.”
The 21,000-seat Manchester Arena was, as you probably now know, packed with screaming adolescents, tweens, teens, young adults and parents.
The Grande entourage had left the stage, and many parents were heading toward the parking lot with their children when the blast went off.
“I learned one mother said somebody yelled, ’Run run run,’ said Ms. Garfinkel, who then said aloud, “She’s in shock; she’s speaking too calmly.”
Speaking calmly after such horrific events is a “hallmark of PTSD,” said Ms. Garfinkel, who is based in the District of Columbia and New York.
What’s next for that mom, other survivors and those who don’t know how to turn off the blow-by-blow events in the aftermath?
Ms. Garfinkel, who writes an online column for The Washington Times, offers this insight:
• “There are no six tips to recovering from death, loss or trauma,” Ms. Garfinkel said. “There are no rules to abnormal events, which can affect people for a long time.”
And, too, she said there are triggers such as birthdays, anniversaries and holidays — normal events along the “natural order of things.”
The natural order includes a truly sick loved one, as opposed to a fatal car accident.
• Be mindful that not all wounded victims are among the casualty numbers reported to the media. For example, some victims may, compared with immediately hospitalized patients, have a finger that needs a splint, or scraped knees and the like.
• “There’s a time for family and clergy and a time for psychologists,” Ms. Garfinkel said. “Not all at once.”
• Young people are plugged into electronic devices.
“As adults, we want every piece of information,” Ms. Garfinkel said. “For children to see [the event or aftermath] over and over again is retraumatizing. The challenge is to reach out to kids, tell them they’re safe and change the subject. Let them get back to normal.”
Persuade them and yourself to do something else — even something as simple as seeing a silly movie, going for a walk or playing a board game.
And, yes, as Ms. Garfinkel advised, it’s even a good time for the parent to let the kid “eat extra ice cream.”
Please read our comment policy before commenting.