Veterans Day: A salute to caregivers

ANALYSIS/OPINION:

Emery is one in 5.5 million, and she and they are what she calls the “missing link.” And they, too, deserve our prayers and thanks on Veterans Day.

Every day since her Army husband, Charlie, returned home from deployments to Iraq, Emery has had to juggle two kids (Caitlin, 6, and Elizabeth, soon-to-be 3) and their needs, and Charlie’s needs.

She’s also a full-time employee.

She’s also working on her master’s at American University.

She also travels a lot, living in the Boston area and working in D.C., where AU is located.

As Charlie’s primary at-home caregiver, Emery has to make sure Charlie’s physical and invisible wounds are given full-time attention.

Like other parents these days, the bumps and grinds of family living can be gruesome. When PTSD and brain injuries are added to the mix, good days can seem far and few between.

Blessedly, there are people like Elizabeth “Liddy” Dole, wife of Army veteran and former Senate Majority Leader Bob Dole, who was injured during World War II combat.

A former senator and hat juggler in her own right, Mrs. Dole started the Elizabeth A. Dole Foundation after stepping away from a long and respected career in public service and that ever-ready service organization, the American Red Cross.

In an interview before her flight home from Washington, Emery credited Mrs. Dole, the foundation and her multitiered support system for helping her to resurrect a stable family life and career path.

Emery calls it her “village,” and includes parents, in-laws and her sister.

“It’s all challenging. It’s not easy being a caregiver of injured military veterans and servicemen and women, of getting done what needs to be get done,” she said. “Telecommuting and the flexibility of the Dole Foundation and videoconferencing, and online course work help a lot. It’s the ’’village’ that helps me get things done.”

Unlike other parents these days, Emery and other military caregivers cannot simply put a chalkboard in the kitchen to keep schedules on time, though.

One of the major reasons why is because wounded warriors and their caregivers have to navigate a complex and perplexing system called Veterans Affairs.

(Emery used to blog for The Washington Times about veteran health care. Today, she works at the foundation as a program coordinator.)

News headlines warn of PTSD, suicides and injuries as our men and women return home. Other problems include separation anxiety during deployment, transitioning back to civilian life, and returning to meaningful employment after leaving military service — all or any of which can push a military family to the edge.

“Caregivers need to get the resources they need to ensure the long-term health and well-being of their families,” Emery said. “We [caregivers] are the missing link. We may not always be loud. We, 5.5 million of us, do our job quietly.”

Asked if she had any advice for the incoming commander in chief, Donald Trump, Emery replied: “He should know that if he meets with a wounded soldier, the caregiver is there, too.”

Emery also spoke of necessary resources for couples involving military wives and husbands, who face the challenge of caring for their wounded female loved ones. The Dole Foundation directs such families toward resources for those families as well.

While lessons learned don’t transfer by osmosis, Emery said she learned a vital lesson working with Mrs. Dole.

“Perseverance,’ she said. “She is a model of perseverance.

“Even on hard days, when you’re struggling, you keep going. You remember it’s not just you. It’s not just Republican or Democrat. You remember you are not alone. Have faith and everything thing will work out.”

We, too, need to remember that when our men and women risk life, limb and their well-being for our freedom and liberty, we owe them in return.

Their caregivers are their bedrock, and those caregivers make sacrifices, too. At 5.5 million strong, military caregivers are part of our safety net.

Give military caregivers time, attention and resources this and every Veterans Day.

They deserve daily hearty salutes for their heavy lifting.

• Deborah Simmons can be contacted at dsimmons@washingtontimes.com.