The happiest people are thankful for what they have — but what do you have? Do happier people have more, making it easier for them to be happy? One reason that some people are happier is that they are simply better at recognizing the things that they should be thankful for.
Ultimately, there are three categories of things that we can be thankful for: the things that we earn, the things that we are given and the fortuitous things, known as luck.
The first category is the one that we think of most often. It’s obvious to us. Though, while we might overtly brag or quietly relish the fruits of our labor, it isn’t always obvious to thank ourselves. There is nothing selfish about being grateful or proud of the things you have earned, and the moments of accomplishment and pride can be motivation to achieve more.
Sometimes thanking ourselves is as simple as stepping back from a job well done to admire our discipline, fortitude, skill, ambition, attention to detail, creativity or whatever else the work represents. Another way that we can thank ourselves is by taking a break. You can’t reap what you sow if you never stop sowing. So give yourself the time to step back, recover and appreciate the work you’ve done every once in awhile.
The second category, being thankful for the things we are given, is one we are sometimes conflicted about. Saying “Thank you” and being thankful are not one in the same. We may utter the words in the moment out of politeness only to diminish the giver’s contribution later, attributing more of the gift to our own accord than to the person we thanked.
The world is a complicated place and the ability to determine the causal factors of our successes are not always obvious. When combined with the complexity of our personal bias of how hard we work or how smart we might think we are, we find ourselves taking much more credit than we are due.
In the TED Talk “Does money make you mean?” by Paul Piff, Mr. Piff discusses an experiment in which two players played a rigged game of Monopoly, where a coin flip determined who would receive the poor position and who would receive the rich position. The rich position included more money to start, more money for passing go and the rich person could roll two dice versus the poor person’s one, allowing them to move around the board at twice the pace.
After the rich person inevitably won, they were asked about their experience. The rich players, despite their clear situational advantage, talked about what they had done to contribute to their own success. This natural bias can lead us to forfeit the contributions of others as we focus on our own. Avoid this trap.
The last category is luck. Within luck, there are two components: possibility and preparation. In general, we have a great amount of control over preparation, while possibility is largely controlled by external forces beyond our control. The latter is elusive, unless it is the bad luck that results in suffering or loss. While action should be taken to capitalize on good luck and to mitigate bad luck, thanks should be given for the opportunities presented to us, which allow us to accidentally end up ahead or in excess of what we need. As we gain advantages by way of luck, we are essentially afforded the opportunity to share and give what we now have without shorting ourselves, which is great for the giver and the recipient. So don’t forget about luck either.
As you go through this mental exercise of thanking yourself for what you have self-sufficiently provided, thanking others for the things that they have given you, and just being thankful for the good luck that appears now and again, you may find yourself thankful that you took the time to do it.
• James Moscariello is a veteran, consultant and aspiring entrepreneur.
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