DEBORAH SIMMONS: Genderless, clueless and, please, take a hike

ANALYIS/OPINION:

Where are we now?

It’s time to revisit some familiar faces, places and issues. So check your seat belts, it’s going to be a bumpy ride.

Since we’re idling between the NFL Pro Bowl game and the Super Bowl, let’s begin with genderless/transgender/unisex/I-haven’t-decided restrooms, and a quote from former Arizona Cardinals coach Dennis Green. After losing a game to the Chicago Bears in 2006, Mr. Green, in a postgame presser, said, “the Bears are who we thought they were.”

Wish that were true in this era of “transgender” and “unisex” restrooms. See, actually the restrooms are not transgender, as restrooms for guys already give them the option to stand or sit. Ladies, not so much.

Nonetheless, the cultural trend for genderless restrooms is a hot button issue in the Kentucky state legislature, where Republican state Sen. C.B. Embry Jr. has introduced a measure that would ban transgender students from using restrooms that do correspond to their anatomical gender and — and, get this — allow students to sue the school if a person of the opposite anatomical gender is permitted to use the incorrect facilities.

“Biological sex,” Mr. Embry’s Senate bill explains, “means the physical condition of being male or female, which is determined by a person’s chromosomes, and is identified at birth by a person’s anatomy.” That online take is courtesy of Jessica Chasmar of The Washington Times.

“Parents have a reasonable expectation that schools will not allow minor children to be viewed in various states of undress by members of the opposite biological sex,” the bill states.

Some kids are simply not equipped (absolutely no pun intended here) to handle the genderless trend — and some fully grown adult men aren’t either.

I recall being in a D.C. club and a transvestite doing all he could to give the impression that he belonged in the ladies’ room. A bit later, a few of the ladies noticed the guy had saddled up to an NBA player, who cluelessly responded to the man’s flirtatiousness. One of the women whispered the facts of life in his ear and the then-bigtime athlete almost puked before thanking the gender whisperer for giving him the 411. (And, yes, he played for Washington.)

I know, I know. Some of you readers say it’s time for genderless restrooms, lockerrooms and such. But we shouldn’t move so quickly.

If adults can be easily confused and deceived, restrooms, lockerrooms, showers and such are certainly not the places for children to learn a boy or girl is not who they thought they were.

The Big Apple move

New York City is about to make a two-bit move. That is to say, the Metropolitan Transportation Authority says a subway ride beginning on March 22 will increase by 25 cents to $2.75.

It’s part of a package of fare increases that include bumps in fares on the Long Island Rail Road and tolls on the transit authority’s bridges and tunnels — all in the name of upkeep.

The plan, announced Thursday, also calls for fares to jump again in 2017.

Some folks are griping, of course, but that’s always the case.

Even in D.C.

Officials in the D.C. region said Thursday that first responders on the scene that terrifying subway incident on Jan. 12 had trouble communicating with themselves because of a safety move.

It seems that in mid-December, D.C. fire/EMS authorities encrypted the radio system to protect first responders from people who might seek to do them harm. Problem is Metro was not informed once the radio channels had been changed.

What the *@&? could be heard from the halls of Annapolis to Capitol Hill to City Hall clear down to Richmond.

Federal probers also have cited a malfunction with the third rail in the Jan. 12 incident, which left passengers of the Yellow Line train trapped inside a smoke-filled car, inside a smoke-filled tunnel. One passenger died, and some survivors have filed a lawsuit.

While some details are forthcoming and the “duh” factor has finally kicked in, regional authorities must now walk dual tracks (again, no pun intended).

They need to continue moving forward along the safety and security path, and speedily devise a short- and long-term pay-as-you-go road.

New Yorkers expect their transit fares to increase again two years from now.

Metro riders know not what to expect.

Riders are going to balk about potential fare increases, and no less so with fair (no pun) warnings.

Think of it this way: Motorists were pitching boogies when the price of gas was twice what it is now.

As I said, it’s called pay as you go.

• Deborah Simmons can be reached at dsimmons@washingtontimes.com.