The 1996 Christopher Guest and company mockumentary “Waiting for Guffman” gave us the hilarious absurdity of action figures tied to the chin-stroking, for-intellectuals-only movie “My Dinner With Andre.” Life, as always, is imitating: Witness the availability of Jane Austen action figures (with writing desk accessory and removable quill pen).
McDonald’s “Sicko” special — Earn points toward discounted angioplasty with each Big Mac combo meal.
“Spider-Man” arachnophobia cure — Watch all three movies on a perpetual loop, with your eyes peeled open, “Clockwork Orange”-style, until you conquer your fear.
“Happy Feet” pool accessories — Swimmie wings and diapers and inflatable floating devices with an Arctic theme. What says “summertime fun” more than penguins in extreme cold?
French army play set — Lifelike toy soldiers, tanks, rifles and attack vehicles — everything a red-blooded young boy could dream of. White flag most definitely included.
Federal Emergency Management Agency RVs — The first-ever tornado-proof line of RVs and mobile homes. The secret: No one lives in them.
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